The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Be still, my beating vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
