We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
