Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
