What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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