This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you had me at cake vodka
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
