sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
