I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize