If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
