is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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