I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
