you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
