i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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