Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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