I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
