He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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