so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
