i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize