wakey wakey hands off snakey
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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