Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
