Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
