i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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