She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
