I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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