Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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