Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
