i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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