I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
