the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
