Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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