this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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