Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
