the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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