Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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