Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize