ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
