just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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