dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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