I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
