I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
