we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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