i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
