batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
