you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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