"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cockslap morals
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize