just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
