I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
