you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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