oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
