I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why is half of my head shaved?
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