I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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