I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize