Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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