Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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