I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
