apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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