The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize