After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
