guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
