someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
