Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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