Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
