you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We need to get me chipped asap
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
